i doth reflect too much

i went to the nail place with my mom today. i talked to the man who owns the place, who's originally from vietnam. on the tv was a report talking about the vietnam war memorial ceremonies that were going on here in the U.S. and in vietnam. vincent, as the owner goes by, talked about the cruelties of the communist government and his memories of witnessing the war as a child. he talked about how his neighbor was killed, shot in the head by his own government. vincent also talked about how all of his older brothers fought in the way, and how one was arrested for simply being a cook for the vietnamese army. he told me about how the communist government has no sympathy for people, and how he thinks this is because they lack any connection with God or spirituality.

even after the conversation had concluded for the most part, he would still randomly mutter about the vietnam government. "cruel, cruel government....no care for their people. just kill anyone...they don't care. they don't like what you're doing, they come and shoot you...kill you. right there." the fact that he kept muttering things signified to me how deeply the entire experience affected him. i can't really imagine those kinds of feelings. i've face some traumatic things in my life...but nothing like that.

i come from "Generation-X". the tail end that is... from what i see, we're all apathetic. not just about our government, war, or social issues...but about everything. people say theyre trying to make a difference, make things better, but in reality it's all just fodder for a resume so that one day they can get that great job with a fortune 500 company, ensuring themselves and their offspring a life of "stability". yadayadasomesuchblah. but...the difference between the apathetic gen-xers (now going from their 20's toward their 30's) and the new generation of "oppressed" youth is that we didn't hang out at Hot Topic to get the newest "indie" rags. in the 1980's we were faced with Project Euphamism: Take 2. cartoons chocked full of magical creatures and homoeroticism....no wonder why we all smoked too much pot and experimented with hallucinogens.... "these days" it seems like rebellion is a fad. maybe it's always been a fad...but now it's a marketable fad. 10 years ago, when i was wearing spiked things and had funny hair...i was called "freak". now there's t-shirts claiming the pride of freak-hood. i'm not sure how i feel about that...but i think individuality as a fashion is a no-no. being vapid is completely cool...but they're not vapid. no....they're disenchanted youth. cry me a fuckin river, as they say.

there's a variety of much more witty and well-put things i could say on all this, and perhaps i'll tackle that sometime. right now... i'm just sort of here. i don't know where "here" is. goddam metaphysics....

well, i've had enough of my own brainworkings.

don't fear the reaper or his musty ole socks,

the girl who lays in the limbo of reality and discontent