so...i don't know what i'm doing...really. i just started this because....well....there's no real reason. it's just...here. and i'm just...here. my head is all fuzzy. i feel like i'm floating out of my skin. this is just me...and the weird way i always feel. disconnected.... but not like a crying goth child who has mean mean parents that won't give them lots of money for those uber-neat pants with the strappy things at Hot Topic. no....it's not even really that involved.
well...really....i just feel on the outside of the bubble; however i come off a fairly social creature. inside, a mess of conflict, anger, confusion. i'm just rather disenchanted with humanity. why? take a minute to stop and listen to a random conversation sometime...listen to what people talk about. listen to how they communicate with one another...take a moment to realize what you're hearing. what is it? rampant stupidity. yes...people are stupid. a lot of human beings think this, however most of them are part of that contingency. but they don't realize it. why? because they're stupid. simple enough, right?
i spend a great deal of time studying philosophy. i analyze things a lot. perhaps this is a product of my inherent paranoia. but, i'm so damn apathetic that in the end it doesn't matter. ha! eureka...we've found a dead end!sometimes this line i walk is too much of a tightrope, and i get curious what it might be like to just fall off. not in the sense of ' i want to die and end of it all.' no, no that's far too simple for me. more like, what would it be like to take the chance? is it all an illusion to begin with? very well could be so. i'm not sure it matters either way.
so anyway....yes. i see things. i hear things. tralala...but i function alright. just have the occasional glitch. but yes.... i have gnomes living in my head. they wield ice picks and randomly stab my brain meats, whilst laughing menacingly, and cause great pain throughout my cerebral region. i don't enjoy this.... i've been attempting to devise a way to rid myself of them...perhaps a fumigation of sorts....but i have yet to succeed in that venture. but i'm not giving up...i shall not. the gnomes shall be vanquished! *blink*
guh.. sometimes my random spurts of nonsense annoy even me.
hm....i'm spaced. tired....tired? maybe. yes....definitely. everything is just...strange....i am just....strange? not so much as someone might think. just untethered to societal conceptions of 'okay'.....i've ...... run out of things to say. so this is where it ends....for now.
*insert French Movie Theme (Smashing Pumpkins)*
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